I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
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My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
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I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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