Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
A+ Viking dick
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
