The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
