She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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