that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
