I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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