Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Randomize
