Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
