i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
