I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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