If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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