she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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