he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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