Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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