The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
