My cat gives me a boner
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
