opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
