Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
