Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
