Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
