So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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