it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize