Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think people are normalizing furries
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
