he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
