Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
