i was born a porn star she said
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
