I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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