If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
