I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
