when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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