wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
