never play flip cup with pint glasses
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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