I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
