DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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