He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
