I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Fuck appropriateness.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
