If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
only you would photoshop your dick
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
