it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
