Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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