I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
