my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
