ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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