Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
