Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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