Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
