found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
