Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
