he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
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While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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