what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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