Just cropdusted the office
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
