You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
