Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Be still, my beating vagina.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
jump out the window naked night went bad
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
