I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
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He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
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All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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