I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
