I bet he comes in French.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
